Wearing Lolita to School: Lolita Undercover?

Hello, everyone! I hope you're all enjoying your Summer, as long as it lasts. Halloween isn't far away, and with that comes Christmas. As much as I hate rain and snow, I can barely wait for my favorite holidays to arrive!

With the end of Summer, however, also comes the dilemma many Lolitas face at the beginning of a new school year.

Yesterday, a young Lolita in my local community wanted to hear our opinion. She had just begun class at a new school, and her peers were, shall we say, less than openminded to some of her alternative interests. Should she try her luck and continue to wear Lolita every day, in spite of this?

"To Lolita or not to Lolita?" is the question. "Mayhaps", is my answer.

(How come I've never done a post on this topic before?!)

First of all, there are a couple of factors you need to consider, before wearing Lolita to school, and they are not all related to the stares and snickers of your peers. 

For instance, what are you allowed to wear? In some countries, dresscode (apart from basic decency, like covering up your chest and butt) is not a problem at most public schools, but it's a good idea to check, anyway. You don't want to be sent home before your day has even begun, for breaking the rules! Some rules may be vague and could be bent to suit your particular situation, so if you're absolutely set on wearing Lolita anyway, you could print out the rules and plead your case if the need should arise. Just don't make a fuss about it.
If there's no dresscode, you can do whatever you want. Some people think that you should keep your frills at home and wear them on "your own time", as to not distract yourself or your classmates. 

My opinion on this is as my opinion on dresscodes that forbids tanktops for women: People can keep their eyes to themselves. Problem solved. If you're able to wear Lolita and concentrate on learning at the same time, there's no problem.

Now to the main concern of most Lolita ducklings (and maybe even some less confident Lolitas): The approval of your fellow students. Because, let's face it, that is what it comes down to. And that's completely natural! 

Don't read this in a condescending voice, because it's definetely not meant that way.
The want to fit in and make new friends comes easily to most of us, unless you're a born lone wolf, like I am. Society encourages popularity, the "Extroverted Way of Life", and this, in companionship with the way being "Normal" is pushed on everyone, makes for an especially nasty cocktail for people who dress in an alternative way. Being different, and wanting to fit in, rarely go hand in hand.
In some places, better than others.

I was blessed with relatively peaceful high school years. 

Did I fit in? Not really. Did people stare at me in my Lolita finery? Definetely. 

And you should be prepared for stares, just as much as when you go outside. The difference is, that these are people you're gonna see every single day, and you'll maybe even have to interact with them! Some of them may come up with mean-spirited remarks, some of them may compliment you. That varies from school to school, and you know better than I, what you think you can expect. If you have no idea, expect some comments and questions.

So, what do you do? 

You think you might want to wear Lolita to school, and your first day of the new school year is coming up! However, you're unsure of how your classmates will react.
I say, keep it casual. Wear a toned down version of whatever type of Lolita you want to wear, and pay attention to how people respond to you, and how you feel about it. 

The trick is to act completely natural, and I cannot stress this enough. Think and act natural, and really give it a shot. Don't give up immediately, if you really want to wear Lolita to school, in spite of what everybody else thinks. Act exactly as if you were just wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and if people insult you, unless they go up to you and get in your way, pretend that you have no reason to think that you're the one they're yelling about. Don't bring up your outfit in conversation, or talk about how you "Know you're totally Weird!" If you don't make a big deal out of it, other people will have to bring it up, and people tend to be a lot more civil when they have to pick up the courage to say something.
Just, live your life.

Don't let the comments get to you. That was a thing I really put emphasis on, when the girl asked for advice yesterday, and this is also probably the hardest part.
These people do not know you. They're closed minded, mean and/or insecure, and probably have the IQ of a bucket of rocks. That, and they do not have the strength to go against the herd, like you do. Few people really want to be mean, and the ones that do, are not people you really wanna be friends with anyway, are they? Why should their opinion matter to you? They're a waste of your time. You look fabulous, and you're smart enough to concentrate on your education and being a nice person.

In my opinion, you should only do something about it, if it escalates and you feel threatened. In that case, you should get an authority figure involved. Never, ever, put your safety in the line for the sake of wearing Lolita!

 And if you feel like the bullying is really getting you down, keep your frills at home. You're not a failure if you cannot deal with it. You just have your priorities straight. You should feel happy, empowered and comfortable in Lolita. Don't let a band of baboons in a classroom get you down- Your frills are yours. Wear them when you're safe, strong and happy!
You can always keep a little piece of it with you, in your pencilcase or a necklace, as a token. 

That way, you're kind of like a magical girl or princess undercover.

LBC: 3 Favorite Hairstyles

This week's Lolita Blog Carnival has me dreaming of more, more and more wigs to style. My own hair is just untameable, and my heart beats faster at some of the most elaborate hair do's in history.

1. Reach for the Sky, Rococo style!

The extremely elaborate, Rococo style hair has a special place in my heart. It speaks of ultimate indulgence and dedication to beauty. And it's so over the top I can't help but love it. Stick whatever you want on there! Beauty has no boundaries, and this shows it to a T!

2. Braids Galore!

I have a soft spots for braids. Loose braids, elaborate braids, milkmaid braids. I love them all! A braid is a simple, quick 'do, and it's so versatile! It can be casual and cute, elegant and stylish, completely depending on where on your head you put it, how tight you make it, and how many you make. I'm especially fond of the "just wrap it over your head and pin it" style. It's very nature girl-ish. 

3. The "Rhapsody"
Made popular by Gothic Lolita Wig's "Rhapsody" wig, many other wig makers have since followed and tried to make their own, cheaper alternative. I love the fluffyness of it! It's cute and elegant, and exceptionally doll like! You don't even have to do anything with it, in my opinion, if you succeed in getting the wavy look without any frizz. It looks great as is!


What are your current favorite hairstyles?
I didn't mention my all-time favorite, the classic ringlets, since I've dedicated an entire post to that particular
 style before. You can check it out here.


Want more hairstyle inspirations? Check out the blog posts below!

The Literary Lolita
Doll Life
A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That Too

"Newb Season" and the Mentor Paradox

Summer is coming to and end, and so is the "youngin's" Summer vacation, at least where I am. This also, to many a Lolita's relief, means the ending of "newb season". Every year, as the season edges closer, groaning can be heard all over the Lolita internet hemisphere. When fall arrives, there are stories of actual gif parties to celebrate the end.

But why? 

It is known that there are Lolitas out there who'd rather see that Lolita stays a niche fashion, but many Lolitas are only excited to see Lolita gain recognition and, as a result, almost accurate media coverage! Wider recognition means brand stores opening up in other countries, and more easily accessible pretty things for all of us! It also means Lolita conventions, Tea Parties and other events, and last but not least, more Lolita friends to make.
(I'm also, personally, hoping for cuter and more elegant mainstream clothing inspired by Lolita. A girl can dream)

What is the downside of a seasonal influx of new Lolitas? 

Some of them actually stay and become part of our community, and it's so exciting to share our love with a fashion with a new, wide-eyed soul!

The downside is the result of one thing, and one thing only. And it really kills the joy, even to me, a devoted part-time Lolita mentor.
New Lolitas step into a world of complicated rules, piles and piles of new terms and shorthands. What does "JSK" stand for? What is a "Jumperskirt"? And there are a thousand stores to lerm to distinguish between! It's no wonder that a new person becomes lost!

Lolita can almost be compared to the court culture at Versailles, at a much smaller scale. You cannot just wear any shoe. Wearing the wrong make-up and a biker jacket may have girls giggling in the corner. That is were I and many other experienced Lolitas come in. Ask if you're in doubt about the "secret court rules"- We'll gladly let you know what shoes are appropriate in Lolita fashion, if neon colors are ever OK, or explain to you when it's alright to go without a blouse. Those things are complicated! It's not just "Yes!" or "No!", "Never!" and "Always!", but a matter of certain situations and the coordinate at hand, and part of what makes Lolita so fascinating! 

Also, giving constructive criticism to new Lolitas are essential to the learning process for a Lolita duckling, if they ask for it.

As you've probably noticed, new Lolitas are not the problem. Questions about complicated nuances and the grey zones in Lolita fashion are just fine, and perfectly understandable. They may even start interesting debates for the rest of us, and give us an opportunity to exchange views on things that we thought were established aspects of our fashion! When are neon colors OK in Lolita fashion, anyway!?

What makes "Newb Season" so frustrating is something that I as a Lolita mentor experience way too often: Laziness. Not my laziness, but an inexplicable laziness found in the young Lolita ducklings! "Where can I purchase Lolita clothing?" and "How do I get my skirt to puff up?" are a couple of the questions that make more experienced Lolitas drop their heads hard onto keyboards in agony. 

That is the curse of "Newb Season". 

The Googli-fication of online communities, and the permanent citizens of these that are being treated as if we were all Siri. 

I do not know what have prompted this. I do not know, if this is a new phenomenon, but it confuses me to no end! This makes me sound really old, but back when I first started out, I was so excited that I did all the research I could. I google'd, read blogs and "What is Lolita?" posts till I was blue in the face! I figured out for myself where to purchase Lolita clothing, I learned to avoid Milanoo like the plague all on my own, and figured out how to distinguish between proper Lolita clothing and nightmare-ish lace monsters through staring at pictures on "Daily Lolita" and guides like FYeahLolita's brilliant "How to Avoid Being an Ita".
I fell head over heels in love with Lolita, and that made me want to swallow the fashion whole. Figuratively.

Has this curiosity died out? What does that say about Lolita fashion, or the people joining the fashion?
I'm not sure. I like to think, that the new Lolitas joining are getting into it with the same love and eagernes that I did, and that the "Let me Google it!" mindset has just taken a step back.
The thing is, it's so easy to find reliable Lolita shops. Even easier than typing out a question on EGL, and a lot less dehumanising to the community.

We love helping out new Lolitas who truly seem like they want to become part of our world, and will work for it, the way we ourselves did. It also helps when the time and effort of a mentor is accepted with a smile and a "Thank you" instead of insulted frowning.
We're not a restaurant who'll hand it out on a silver platter.

I truly hope that many of this years Lolita ducklings will stick around, and start to grow their swan feathers.

Adieu, "Newb Season"!
Until next year.

Photoshoot: Memory of a Broken Dollhouse

The other afternoon my photographer once again pulled me out of the pleasantly cool confinements of my house to do a photoshoot with me. In full Lolita. During the hottest danish summer I can remember.

Of course I went for it, threw on layer upon layer, grabbed my parasol and my fan and went for it.

The funny thing is, I actually felt pleasantly cool under my handheld shade and selfmade breeze! He was the melty one!

I picked out my absolute favorite pictures of the batch to show you guys. These are the result of a fun afternoon in an abandoned warehouse. I'm very happy with how they turned out, and I hope you guys will like them almost as much!

Coordinate:

Dress: BtSSB
Bonnet: BtSSB
Shoes: Bodyline
Everything else is offbrand!

LBC: Things I Could Never See Myself Wearing in Lolita

I'm back on the Lolita Blog Carnival carousel with this week's topic, which is all about things in Lolita fashion that I could never, ever see myself wearing. I'm into a lot of strange Lolita trends, and some of it is stuff that's grown on me as time has gone on, but there are still a couple of things that're just not my thing, and probably never will be.

1. Baby Toy Prints

Rocking horses, building blocks, rattles. The list goes on, and I'm saying "Thank you, but no thank you!"
I like dollhouse inspired prints, and stuffed bears are cute, but these are also collectors items and not just childrens' toys. I honestly do not think that AP made their "Dreamy Baby Room" print with ageplay in mind, as some people obviously do find baby stuff cute in a very innocent way, but I'm just not really feeling it. I'm not really fond of babies, either, so that may have something to do with it.

2. Juliette et Justine's Portrait Prints

This is at the completely opposite end of the spectrum compared to the "Too Much!" AP baby prints, I know. But I've just never been a fan, and this is coming from someone who adores classical art, have and want several to adorn my own walls! And I would love these dresses so, so much if the dresses themselves matched the oppulence of the gorgeous artwork! Too often I find that painting dresses, especially Juliette et Justine's dresses, make the entire design all about the painting, and forgets everything else. There are no excuisite details, no pretty sleeves, barely any lace.. Not even an interesting cut! The painting stands completely alone. It's too simple and frankly lazy for my taste.

3. Animal Ear Headbands (No, not even Brand!)

With this, I mean the actual headbands, or clips, or other "stand alone" fluffy animal ear and tail accessories. It's a complicated category, as I do like certain animal ear themed things, like the pearl cat ears that were popular at one point. But it wasn't made to look like costume ears! I think hoodies with animal ears are cute, but in that context, they're more of a "design detail" than costume-y. I think they're sort of cute in themed easter coords, but I couldn't wear them myself. It may be because I were "brought up" as a Lolita with animal ears as a big "no-no!", and part of an ingrained embarrasment from my otaku "Nyan~nyan!" days. I wore cat ears on a daily basis. Oh, the memories..
By the way, adding bunny ears to something doesn't automatically make it cute! Just throwing it out there.

Apart from the ones above, I'm hard pressed to find something that I couldn't see myself wearing. I was thinking about simple Classic Lolita pieces, and Gothic Lolita, but I do find those to be aesthetically pleasing, and who knows where Lolita is gonna take me in the future? I was also considering plastic jewellery, but while I may not wear it with Lolita, I do want a bunch of it for my everyday wardrobe!

What could you never see yourself wearing in Lolita? Do you have any boundaries, or do you just love it all, from parfait rings to gleaming silver crosses?

Want to see what other Lolitas stay far away from? Check out the links below!

What the Fluff
Under the Parasol
The Literary Lolita
New Vogue Children

Review: Clobbaonline and Krad Lanrete's "Marie Antoinette"!

Back when I first started out in Lolita (4 or so years ago) I made some of my first purchases from Taobao, through Clobbaonline. I immediately liked this reseller, as the communication was extremely personal, the service was excellent and Martin was always incredibly helpful. He always went that extra mile to make sure that my measurements for my custom made garments had been taken correctly, and let me know if something looked off to him (I really had no idea what I was doing..)

However, that was many years ago. How's the service today? Here´s my experience!

I made my order for the Krad Lanrete "Le Portrait de Marie" JSK (Clobbaonline still has a couple in stock) with a matching bonnet on the 14th of June, through their order form system, and my order was confirmed on the 16th. I received an apology for the late response, due to "replies on weekends being slow". That's fine, imo. I received the price for shipping and was invoiced, and I paid right away and asked if everything was already in stock, or if the bonnet was made-to-order.
The next day I received an email from Martin, letting me know that we would have to wait for my (pre-made) bonnet to arrive from Krad Lanrete. However, my JSK was ready to be shipped out.
And so I waited.

It took 10 days (including weekends) for my bonnet to arrive, but as soon as it arrived, the order was dispatched. I sent an email or two along the way, checking to see how everything was coming along, and Martin always responded within 24 hours. Today, it finally arrived! Talk about slow shipping and customs! But that is of course not Martin's fault.

Clobbaonline ratings:

Communication: 5/5 ♤'s.
The communication is easily understandable, personal, and Martin still goes that extra mile to make sure that everything is completely clear. 

Ordering System/Site Navigation: 04/05 ♤'s.

The order form is fine and easy to fill out. However, I always prefer a shopping cart system. It's just quicker than having to fill out size, quantity etc. Especially when you're making a bigger order than mine.

Packaging: 5/5 ♤'s.

My dress was wrapped up in a cardboard box, which was wrapped in bubblewrap, and all of that was wrapped in plastic. No issues what so ever! The most sturdy packaging I've ever tried!

All in all, Clobbaonline's service is as always excellent. From me, they get a 5 out of 5 in the end. Being a reseller, they are of course a little more expensive than purchasing through a Taobao SS (which is also possible from Krad Lanrete. You can find my list of SS's at the bottom of the page here) but it's worth the price.

Here we've got the bonnet and the dress out of the bag. Let's start with the dress!

This is the dress straight out of the plastic. The fabric is nice and smooth, and the color is true to the photos.

The quality of the lace all around the dress is alright, but not at all brand quality. I'd give it a "meh". Not bad, but not that good either. 

The bows are nice enough. Soft. Not the same kind of grosgrain that BtSSB uses. These are more smooth and silky in texture. One of them looks crooked in the photo, but that was easily corrected.

I LOVE the print. It's pretty crisp, the colors are more vibrant than in my photos, and the attention to detail is exquisite. They used 4 paintings, which are lined up on the front, and in the same way on the back of the dress. The portraits are of course a little more grainy than the rest, but that is to be expected. Paintings are not HQ photographs!

I love the fan. It really shows how intricate the details of this print are. I might be drooling a little.. a little.

This is the inside of the dress. As you can see, it's pretty much fully lined. The craftmanship is great! I found no loose threads at all, so thumbs up for that.

According to the label, it's even machine washable, as long as you're careful. Good to know that the print doesn't run!

That's it for the dress!

As you can see, the inside of the bonnet is lined with a very soft type of chiffon, which also make up the bows and the ribbons that you tie beneath your chin. The bows are well made and even. I like the design of the bonnet, where the lining extends like a stretchy cap on the back of the head. It looks good when worn, and helps keep the bonnet in place a little.

The lace quality is about the same as on the dress. Pretty enough, but not something to write home about. It serves it's purpose and looks very good!

All in all, this is my ratings for the Krad Lanrete dress and bonnet!

Quality: 4/5 ♤'s

As lace is pretty important in Lolita, it's enough to drag my ratings down a spade. However, everything else is just fine! The fabric is gorgeous.

Craftmanship: 5/5 ♤'s.

No issues. Everything is tidy and even. 

Print: 4/5 ♤'s.

A little crookedly drawn in places, but not that noticeable. It's very crisp, detailed and overall gorgeous! 

All in All: 4,5 ♤'s!

I'm very, very satisfied, and I wouldn't hesitate to purchase something from Krad Lanrete again. It's just as good as what I've owned from Infanta or Rose Melody, in my opinion.

Finally, I couldn't wait and I had to make a coordinate right away! This was my outfit today.

What do you guys think? 

I hope you're enjoying your summer, or your winter, as much as I am! Until next time~

Review: Cool2Day Wig

And I added another wig to my collection. Of course I did! I fell so in love with the first one, and this one was just sitting there, begging to me with that cheap price. I decided to try my luck. Even if the general notion in Lolita is that "You get what you pay for" (which is for the most part true! I learned that the hard way!) I have heard enough good stories about Taobao wigs from asia. I was not dissapointed!

This particular wig is a Cool2Day wig, which I got for around 10$ from the ebay store "Makeyourdreamcometrue", which has 98% positive reviews. I bought the wig around 2 weeks ago and it was shipped out almost immediately. It was estimated to arrive, with free shipping, 2 weeks from now!

I believe that particular ebay store is Cool2Days own, as they were addressed as such on the letter that came with the wig. However, you can't be a 100% sure, I suppose, as they have a pretty small selection of wigs compared to the official Cool2Day website. The wig arrived pretty much unprotected in a grey plastic envelope, but nothing had happened to it during transport. I got a free wigcap, which I suppose is pretty standard, but a welcome gesture in my book.

As soon as I took the wig out of the bag, I was in love! The price was a third of my Bodyline wig, but the quality is so much better! It's positively silky! The listing said that the wig was supposed to be made out of 100% japanese kanekalon, and I could believe that! It's that good! The wig, however, has about the same amount of shine to it as my Bodyline wig. Which is not that much in my book. It's thicker than my Bodyline wig at the top.

In certain light settings, the color is pretty close to the original photo.

This is the netting. It's very close, and it's very easy to adjust the wig size. My only complaint would be that there are a lot of loose threads to snip. 

This is me wearing the wig. Once again, excuse my no-make up face! I'm not that pretty on my days off.
Back to the wig. It has the natural wavyness of the photo, and is also a decent length, even if I'm a billion times bigger than the average asian woman. The wig is a little tight, and definetely not as stretchy as the Bodyline one. I had to pull a bit to make it cover my wig cap. I think that might also be the reason that the wig is a lot thinner on me. There's a larger area that it needs to cover, headwise. It's definetely wearable, though! 

This is the wig in direct sunlight! To me, it looks just fine! There's a shinyness to it, but that's to be expected with false hair.

All in all, I'm very satisfied! I'd go as far as to give it a 4 spades out of 5!

♤♤♤♤

Part of me kind of wants to bump it up to a 5, but I can't. Not for me in particular. On me, the wig could have been thicker and more stretchy, and there were still loose threads. But that's just me being picky. The wig was more than worth the price, and I wouldn't hesitate to get many more Cool2Day wigs!