Halloween, Costume Lolita and Themed Outfits

Picture from Wikipedia

The Halloween month is here, and what would be more appropriate than having a chat about the topic "costumes" and Lolita fashion? Those two concepts have been in conflict for as long as most of us have lived our frilly lives, and to many, the line we walk between the two is still thin. 

We may all agree that Lolita is not a costume. 

But what about bunny ears? Themed coordinates? Wearing Lolita on All Hallows' Eve?
What makes a Lolita outfit a costume?

Follow me, as I dive deep into the deep, dark well that is the discussion of costumes and Lolita.

Actual "Lolita Costume"

And the girl in jeans shouted "Little Bo Peep, where are your sheep?!"

And the Lolita shuddered in secondhand embarassment, for little did the girl in jeans know: Lolita is not a costume at all!
But what defines a costume? What makes Lolita so different from wearing a Little Bo Peep costume, when it comes down to it? Some people think that it is all a matter of not taking the outfit too far into OTT territory, lest it becomes "costume-y". Some people believe it's all about the quality of the materials. Others swear by the elements of the outfit, for instance lace gloves or bunny ears. The viewpoints are many and varied, and no completely consensus has been reached about when we reach "costume Lolita", and when something is just plain "ita". 

(I've even seen the two expressions used interchangeably)

To clarify, I disagree with all of these statements entirely. "Costume Lolita" is a thing, and so is "ita Lolita". They are, however, very different, in my opinion. In this post I'm only gonna talk about the term "costume Lolita".

First, what defines a costume?

I looked it up in the Cambridge Dictionary online, and there, it is defined like this: A set of clothes suitable for a particular historical period or activity, or a set of clothes worn to look like someone or something else. To clarify, what is given as examples of "activities" are things like dancing or swimming.

Lolita does not fit any of these labels. Lolita is a fashion, not a costume. The quality of materials, choice of accessories or amount of stuff worn on your head, is irrelevant. It is the purpose of the clothes that is key, and even the most shiny satin Milanoo piece is therefore not a costume.

Ita, but not a costume. 

Adorable bunny-themed outfits by Angelic Pretty

But, what about themed outfits, then? Aren't they costumes?

No, they are not. Not even if you wear your BtSSB cat ears and take fashion que's from the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. You see "Steal Her Look!" articles in mainstream fashion magazines all the time and nobody's calling that "costuming". 

I think what confuses people about this is that there are certain elements of Lolita fashion that suddenly become appropriate at certain events or certain holidays. People become unable to withstand the allure of bunny ears around easter, and that's when the arguments pop up about whether or not those are Lolita or costume articles. They are certainly not costume articles if you're not in costume, but the discussion about whether or not they are Lolita appropriate is a different topic entirely. 

Personally, I go with a "Yes!" if they are good quality and part of a themed outfit. 

BtSSB's halloween "Merrymaking in the Ghost Town" print.

But what if I wear my outfit for Halloween?

That depends! Is your outfit just themed around a certain character, or are you actually dressing up AS a character?
Or are you just taking advantage of the occassion to go out and enjoy yourself with a lot fewer stares than usual, to melt into the crowd of actual costume-wearing happy folk and fly under the radar?

Wearing Lolita on Halloween does not make it a costume. Some people worry that it is "disrespectful" to the fashion to wear it on Halloween, or to similar events. In my opinion, it is everything but disrespectful! Themed outfit or not, Lolita-fied costume or not, Halloween gives us an occassion to go all out without sticking out too much! Wear your most oppulent gothic Hime Lolita dress and put a mini-version of the Flying Dutchman on your head. 

As an adoring fan of the Halloween month, it's just twice the sugar and no bees to take my fashion one step further on Halloween.

These are just my opinions!
Are you gonna dress up for Halloween? If so, what are you gonna do?
Let me know in the comments below, and have a really spooky Halloween!

"Newb Season" and the Mentor Paradox

Summer is coming to and end, and so is the "youngin's" Summer vacation, at least where I am. This also, to many a Lolita's relief, means the ending of "newb season". Every year, as the season edges closer, groaning can be heard all over the Lolita internet hemisphere. When fall arrives, there are stories of actual gif parties to celebrate the end.

But why? 

It is known that there are Lolitas out there who'd rather see that Lolita stays a niche fashion, but many Lolitas are only excited to see Lolita gain recognition and, as a result, almost accurate media coverage! Wider recognition means brand stores opening up in other countries, and more easily accessible pretty things for all of us! It also means Lolita conventions, Tea Parties and other events, and last but not least, more Lolita friends to make.
(I'm also, personally, hoping for cuter and more elegant mainstream clothing inspired by Lolita. A girl can dream)

What is the downside of a seasonal influx of new Lolitas? 

Some of them actually stay and become part of our community, and it's so exciting to share our love with a fashion with a new, wide-eyed soul!

The downside is the result of one thing, and one thing only. And it really kills the joy, even to me, a devoted part-time Lolita mentor.
New Lolitas step into a world of complicated rules, piles and piles of new terms and shorthands. What does "JSK" stand for? What is a "Jumperskirt"? And there are a thousand stores to lerm to distinguish between! It's no wonder that a new person becomes lost!

Lolita can almost be compared to the court culture at Versailles, at a much smaller scale. You cannot just wear any shoe. Wearing the wrong make-up and a biker jacket may have girls giggling in the corner. That is were I and many other experienced Lolitas come in. Ask if you're in doubt about the "secret court rules"- We'll gladly let you know what shoes are appropriate in Lolita fashion, if neon colors are ever OK, or explain to you when it's alright to go without a blouse. Those things are complicated! It's not just "Yes!" or "No!", "Never!" and "Always!", but a matter of certain situations and the coordinate at hand, and part of what makes Lolita so fascinating! 

Also, giving constructive criticism to new Lolitas are essential to the learning process for a Lolita duckling, if they ask for it.

As you've probably noticed, new Lolitas are not the problem. Questions about complicated nuances and the grey zones in Lolita fashion are just fine, and perfectly understandable. They may even start interesting debates for the rest of us, and give us an opportunity to exchange views on things that we thought were established aspects of our fashion! When are neon colors OK in Lolita fashion, anyway!?

What makes "Newb Season" so frustrating is something that I as a Lolita mentor experience way too often: Laziness. Not my laziness, but an inexplicable laziness found in the young Lolita ducklings! "Where can I purchase Lolita clothing?" and "How do I get my skirt to puff up?" are a couple of the questions that make more experienced Lolitas drop their heads hard onto keyboards in agony. 

That is the curse of "Newb Season". 

The Googli-fication of online communities, and the permanent citizens of these that are being treated as if we were all Siri. 

I do not know what have prompted this. I do not know, if this is a new phenomenon, but it confuses me to no end! This makes me sound really old, but back when I first started out, I was so excited that I did all the research I could. I google'd, read blogs and "What is Lolita?" posts till I was blue in the face! I figured out for myself where to purchase Lolita clothing, I learned to avoid Milanoo like the plague all on my own, and figured out how to distinguish between proper Lolita clothing and nightmare-ish lace monsters through staring at pictures on "Daily Lolita" and guides like FYeahLolita's brilliant "How to Avoid Being an Ita".
I fell head over heels in love with Lolita, and that made me want to swallow the fashion whole. Figuratively.

Has this curiosity died out? What does that say about Lolita fashion, or the people joining the fashion?
I'm not sure. I like to think, that the new Lolitas joining are getting into it with the same love and eagernes that I did, and that the "Let me Google it!" mindset has just taken a step back.
The thing is, it's so easy to find reliable Lolita shops. Even easier than typing out a question on EGL, and a lot less dehumanising to the community.

We love helping out new Lolitas who truly seem like they want to become part of our world, and will work for it, the way we ourselves did. It also helps when the time and effort of a mentor is accepted with a smile and a "Thank you" instead of insulted frowning.
We're not a restaurant who'll hand it out on a silver platter.

I truly hope that many of this years Lolita ducklings will stick around, and start to grow their swan feathers.

Adieu, "Newb Season"!
Until next year.

My Lolita Playlist

Now that I've finally finished my exams, I want to start summer vacation with this short and simple post, where I share the songs I like to listen to, when in Lolita!

It's of course a little different, depending on which Lolita style I'm wearing. Every outfit has a different aesthetic which fits a different mood and a different atmosphere, and therefore, a different type of music. However, the following are the ones that makes me think of Lolita the most.

Defying Gravity from Wicked
BI'm being myself, and I'm doing what most people feel like you "can't do", when I'm in Lolita. As such, I feel like this song is very fitting. In Lolita, you're reaching for the stars! The highest form of beauty, in your own eyes.  

Ever, Ever After by Carrie Underwood

Because in Lolita, we all feel like every day princesses. What movie better captures that, than "Enchanted"? This song really captures the magic of Lolita to me.

Never Underestimate a Girl by Vanessa Hudgens

This song is very empowering, I think. I feel strong in a feminine way, when wearing Lolita. Like someone you shouldn't mess with, even if I don't look like it.

For the First Time in Forever from Frozen

This one is hilarious to listen to while getting ready for a meet-up! It really puts me in the mood for going out and looking elegant.. Or, like the "picture of sophisticated grace", haha!

Rise like a Phoenix by Conchita Wurst

This is another song that I find to be very empowering. After a long time of looking my worst, and then finally being able to dress to the nines the way I like, feels kind of like a frilly rebirth, doesn't it?

Rum Pum Pum by F(x)

I admit I don't speak even a little bit of korean, but I listen to quite a bit of K-pop, and for some reason, this always makes me think of Lolita when I listen to it. I think it's the combination of femininity and strength. It has a very strong sounding chorus. When walking around town in Lolita, I can't help but lift my chin a bit higher when listening to this one.

These are just some of my favorite songs to listen to, while in Lolita.

Specifically when wearing gothic or darker Classic Lolita, I also enjoy listening to Versailles. Their sound is so aristocratic! I'll put some of their songs below.

Aristocrats Symphony by Versailles

Princess by Versailles

Last but not least, I still really enjoy McMelody Doll, haha! Even if she's old news, she's still hilarious, I think!

What are some of your favorite songs to listen to, when you're all frilled up? Let me know if there's anything you think I should check out!

Oh, and have a great summer vacation!

Those of you who're not there yet; Stay strong!

Tall Lolita and Skirt Length Extremist

I have a confession to make, guys and girls.
I used to be a "skirt length extremist"!

Anything shorter than a couple of inches above the knee was unacceptable to me, until just around a year or so ago. That must sound kind of counterproductive, considering that I am 5'9 (179-180 cm) tall and in need of dresses that are around 100 cm long to reach my knees. The average BTSSB jumperskirt is 91-93 cm long, so you can see where this is going.

If I cared so much about skirt length, how could I be a Lolita? Especially since I do not own an underskirt (now, one is on my "to buy-list)

I used to purchase replicas. I was a plus sized Lolita, so I had to buy replicas anyway to be able to fit into un-shirred dresses, and I preferred to purchase un-shirred dresses, as full-body shirring has never been to my tastes. I felt like that gave me the right to be a skirt length extremist, because well.. All my dresses reached my knees. I felt like that excused my closet of replicas, because, as a tall girl, I would never be able to wear brand without it being quite short on me. There's also the possibility for us tall girls to get custom made Taobao or Fanplusfriend pieces- There's plenty of ways for tall people to have pieces of an appropriate length.

Time has passed since then, and even while the trend of short Lolita skirts (luckily for me) seems to be dying out in favor of "OTT Classic", and multiple layers of long chiffon underskirts, I have only gotten more and more... relaxed, about the idea of short Lolita skirts.
Here's what has changed for me, that has made me open my mind up to the idea of short(er) skirts:

I used to care a lot about the idea of modesty in Lolita fashion. And I still do, kind of. I still think you should wear a blouse, a cutsew, a light bolero or the like, with your Lolita outfits. But this is almost as much because of the look in itself- to me, most pieces look better with that extra layer that they were made to have. The intricate detailing of  blouse also adds more interest to an outfit. However, not all dresses look good with an underskirt. It looks off with a lace or chiffon border underneath some dresses, even if the underskirt matches, colorwise.
Also, as long as the shorter skirt length looks alright- that is, is able to acommodate a petticoat, create the correct silhouette and is not so short that it becomes a mini-skirt, I do not see the problem. I draw the line at a mini-skirt, because some people would consider a mini-skirt too "sexy", and that is not exactly the point of the Lolita aesthetic.

Tallness is also a part of a person's physical being, and maybe exactly the one that definetely cannot be changed. As long as it looks alright, I think the community needs to be openminded about it. Being unusually tall, if you'e not a super model, or short can be enough of a hassle in a person's daily life. Believe me!

So, what do you guys think about skirt length in Lolita fashion?
Is it OK to break the skirt length "rule", if the rest of the outfit is spot on? Is the knee-length skirt the most important rule? Do you agree that this rule should be taken with a grain of salt by tall people specifically?
Let me know!

And thank you to you guys for wishing me a happy birthday! I had a great time, and am now a little closer to having a Lolita themed home, thanks to my presents! I got the most gorgeous tassels for my curtains, and a new antique cabinet for my books.

Untill next time, folks! And good luck if you're also still working hard on your exams!

Stereotypes of Japan in the West: The "Hello Kitty" Music Video

Hello, everyone! I am back on the Northern Star, and I hope you guys had as nice an Easter as I did!

Just yesterday Avril Lavigne released a new music video titled "Hello Kitty", and from there on it has spread like wildfire through the "Cute Culture" world on the internet. While the lyrics themselves are a nonsensical mish-mash of stereotypically "kawaii" things mixed in with some vaguely sexual hints (rolling around in your underwear and playing spin the bottle with Hello Kitty?), I think that "that" in itself says a lot about how the western world sees Japan. That's what I'm gonna be talking about, from a non-expert, purely spectator-based perspective.

It is no secret that I, as an "alterna-teen", had an Avril Lavigne phase, and I was not alone. Avril Lavigne has always, I think, been a bit of an icon for young teens trying to fit in, speaking to our rebellious side with songs like "Sk8er Boy" and "Complicated", back in the day. As Japan is crawling out of the Underground shadows and the japan-obsessed community grows into a prominent part of youth culture (still mainly based around the "alternative teenagers"), it seems only natural that she would switch from the punk-emo look to one of a more sexy-kawaii-weaboo type.
That would be just fine, I think, if she didn't also choose to feed off of the stereotypes concerning japanese culture, and by her status as an icon, hammering them down even more.

Enough Lolitas has experienced the common misconception of Lolita being a "sex thing" that it is getting really old, and honestly the mentioning of Lolita being "just a Japanese streetfashion" rarely seems to help. Usually it just fuels the fire a little more, and the individual asking the question tends to just roll their eyes a little bit, expressing their preconception of "the perverted, old japanese men" if not in words, then very obviously in their reaction. It is a very common, negative stereotype that japanese 'cute culture' is all about dressing for the pleasure of older japanese men.
This is a stereotype that might stem from the spread of animé before most other parts of japanese culture, and western people subsequently digging into the more "mature" section of the genre, though I have not done any further research into it.

This stereotype can, however, be seen expressed through miss Lavigne's lyrics. The use of childish games and expressions throughout the lyrics, like "pinky swear", "come and play", "pillow fight" and the like, along with suggestive themes like "roll around in our underwear", "I've got something you need to see" and her sexualized costume clearly hints at the sexual "kawaii" stereotype of Japan.
I don't think this song was aimed at a young enough demographic that "pinky swears" and Hello Kitty toys for actual playing was still relevant- Also, she fatshames in her song, which is not very common in children's songs.

Another problem with this new song is not actually the song, in my opinion, but the representation of the Japanese women in the video. They seem to be completely without emotion and a mind of their own. Either this is hinting at the "robots everywhere!" stereotype, or else, it might be a hint at how Westerners tend to think of typical japanese women as very quiet, softspoken and dominated by society. They do not have a mind of their own, until Avril Lavigne, as the centerpiece of the video, makes them laugh.

Finally, they walk behind her all the time, following her around as if they were her "dolls", which I think is a very problematic image. To me, it screams racism. In a video about japanese culture, probably filmed in japan, the japanese people in the video do not get a voice of their own.
They're used as props, while the white woman rolls around in all the "kawaii" she can scavenge, completely taking over their world.

All in all, I think the only people who're going to enjoy this song, are the ones new to japanese culture, who have not quite yet shed the stereotypical viewpoints.
It will be gone and forgotten before we know it.

Do you agree? Do you think I'm reading too much into this?
Do you enjoy the song, or do you wish you could un-hear it? Let me know!

The Flaws of Facebook and Bringing Back the 00's!

This post calls for a little bit of a backstory.
This weekend, I was on the way home for a small party that mainly consisted of my friends from my old Lolita circle. It had been a while and we had a good time. The next day, I was on the way home, and during the train ride I and a friend, who had joined me for some of it, got talking about the status of the Lolita community, both global and here in Denmark. It is obvious that everything has moved to Facebook. We do not know if this is just the case of the US and the danish Lolita community, but I suspect that this is pretty much a global thing. I know you may be having a bit of a deja vu, as I spoke about something like this in this post a while ago, but please stay with me here.

We discovered, that while the community has moved on to Facebook to become more "private" and a little more meet-up focused, the community has also lost some of the "involvement" that it once had.
(This might just be a case of "Back when I was a newbie, the grass was a lot greener..")

Even if Facebook has made communication a lot easier, quicker and moved the community into the "everydaysphere" of the members so you can get constant updates from your Lolita pals, alongside pictures from your cousins birthday, communication between Lolitas has become a lot more scarce.
I suspect is has to do with lazyness. You don't really engage, if you don't have to make a conscious effort to do so.

Facebook has taken away the spirited discussion of Lolita, and I suspect, killed a little bit of the magic that I felt when I first started out. If you don't share how you feel in Lolita, exchange views on new releases or the funny little situations you get into, or have gravely serious discussions about the "Rules" vs. "Guidelines", the 'science' of Lolita dies out. And of course I use the word 'science' with a loving, satirical tone. Of course Lolita is not 'seriouz businezz' in the big scheme of things, but isn't it to us, just a little bit, because we're passionate about it?
I think social activity and sharing help keep that passion alive, and that's what I've been missing.

I may be contradicting myself a little bit. I'm a big advocate for the "personal Lolita lifestyle", which many of my longtime readers already know. Lolita is something deeply personal to a lot of people, and that's how it should be. The important point in Lolita fashion is how you feel and see yourself, but this does not have to be disconnected from the social aspect of the fashion.
Engaging in conversations about Lolita can fuel your fire, make you consider new aspects of the fashion that you have not known before, and rekindle your love for corners of the fashion that you had forgotten all about.
Drama is what kills it.

Either I'm becoming a nostalgic Old Schooler trying to bring back the good ol' days, or I've pinpointed an actual flaw in the new community system. I guess I'm gonna find out, for I've decided to start up a Forum for my local communities. It feels like I've brought back the 00's.
People are even making old fashioned "Introduction Posts"!

I'm not saying we should shut down the Facebook communities. They're great for arranging meet-ups, making quick, fun updates and sharing videos. But they're horrible for conversation, and even worse for long, well-thought out posting.

So, how do you feel about this topic? Is Facebook a step up from the old platforms?
Should we bring back the old communities?

52 Weeks: The Ways in Which I Do Not Fit the Cliché

This week's 52 Weeks Lolita Challenge is one that I was looking forward to, as I thought that "this is gonna be fun and interesting!" but, well, I actually found it to be a lot tougher than I thought it was gonna be. Of course I fart and burp like any normal person- even if the ladies' in us want to deny it.

But these are a couple of things that I, specifically, do or enjoy, that are not very "Lolita"-like.

1. My taste in games
According to the Lolita stereotype, as I see it, a "proper" Lolita is supposed to enjoy games like "Animal Crossing" or various japanese romantic RPG's. The Classic and Gothic Lolita are not as such known to be gamers, but more the 'bookish types'
I, personally, like games where you get to go on an adventure, or shape the story by your decision. Some of my favorites include Assassins Creed, Skyrim and, as of recently, "The Walking Dead"! All of these are games with a lot of killing. A bit of blood. And for the last one, a LOT of guts. Literally.

2. Looking Picture Perfect. At All Times.

I do not. I really, really do not. At least half the week, I go sans make-up. My hair is messy, my clothes tend to be whatever I find to be closest to me when I open the closet. There is only one reason for this: I bike to school every other day to stay in shape, which means biking 18 kilometers each way. To be able to do this, I have to get up pretty early, and I need to be comfortable along the way. And I value my sleep too much to get up even earlier to have the time to fix myself up when I get there! I don't need to impress anyone, and I'm comfortable. Why should I?

3. Constant Closet Renewal.
The "Perfect Lolita" always has something in the mail, both going out, but especially coming home. It doesn't have to be directly from a brand store; It can be a GIANT Taobao order (The cheaper, the more stuff!) or a couple or 5 pieces from Closetchild, the comm sales or Yahoo JP. I find this to be one of the most innacurate aspects of the Lolita stereotype, and seriously also one of those that could make new Lolitas feel sub-par. As if they're not commited enough to the fashion! To some people, constant purchasing is just not an option, even if you work your frilly butt off. As a student with a job, and a Lolita on a budget, my wardrobe grows very, very slowly. On average I acquire about 2 or so new pieces a year, and usually, my order consists of 1 dress and maybe a matching accessory, like 2-3 pairs of socks and a matching bonnet. It's not that I do not want to buy stuff, you know? I just dislike being broke. There's nothing as scary as an empty wallet when you have to support yourself! 


The Lifestyle Lolita ideal can be very scary and limiting to a lot of new Lolitas. Many Lolitas strive to free themselves from the unattainable ideals of mainstream society, but truth be told, the ideals of Lolita world are just as limiting and fake as the ones we see in mainstream magazines.

A skinny girl, 1,5 m. tall with the perfect Juliette and Justine measurements and a "Day Dream Carnival" wallet heavy with yen, who lives in a pink world of limited edition "Sailor Moon" merch and french pastries with a cherry on top?
Thank you, but no thank you! If that is you, that's just fine, and I hope you appreciate your luck! But not everyone has that, and not everybody would be happy like that.

Some girls like guns, brains and look like a catfish when they wake up in the morning. 
That's life, and thank god for that!

52 Weeks: Bloomers or no Bloomers?

Let's pretend it's still Sunday, as I put up this week's Lolita Blog Challenge post, OK? Just play along, for my sake. Real life and all, ya know.. *cough*
This week's theme I just hadn't seen coming, so I really grinned when I read what was next to number 28 on my list of themes. 

But that also says a lot about how overlooked bloomers actually are, as a part of Lolita fashion!

Personally, I am a huge fan of bloomers, for multiple reasons. Many people prefer to wear bloomers, simply for practical reasons. In a fashion that is mainly based on skirts with a lot of.. open space underneath, that is kept in place by luxuriously flowy layers of light fabrics, you're bound to get into situations where the skirt will say "Shoosh!" and suddenly a gust of air turned your skirt upside down, so you look like a walking icecream cone instead of a cute little bell, and granted everybody the sight of your underwear. In such a situation, bloomers can save your dignity in a pinch.

The simple task of walking up a flight of stairs gets slightly uncomfortable as well, if you aren't at least wearing a pair of shorts underneath. 

And admittedly, bloomers are just about 20 times cuter.

I wear shorts for the reasons stated above, but even if shorts make a nice enough substitute, a pair of proper bloomers are somewhere near the top of my "To-Buy list". 

But why would I spend money on something that I really don't NEED? I have something that works in it's place, and bloomers are not really part of the RULES or anything. They're not even visible, most of the times!

Here's why!
I think bloomers are a very interesting aspect of Lolita fashion as, as far as I'm concerned, Lolita is the only subculture that has developed in such a way, that it even has appropriate and characteristic underwear! It's kind of symbolic, in a sense. Bloomers are not meant to be seen by anyone, except on accident. Well, some bloomers are made long on purpose so that you will be able to see just a little bit of the lace sticking out beneath the hem of your skirt. It adds a bit of extra charm. 

But most bloomers are made short enough today, that it's clear that they're really just meant to be known by you, and only you. 

It goes to show, that Lolita is something that you are. It's not just about what other people see. 

It's something that you identify as.

I just feel a lot more "Lolita" when I'm wearing bloomers. It makes me feel good, to be Lolita from the inside and out, if that makes sense. 

Bloomers are adorable, frilly, and just for you to enjoy! Also, they make the very best lounge wear!

Disney Heroines and Female Ideals

Recently, the new Disney movie "Frozen" was released in cinemas, and this movie has raised voices all over the world! The complaints mainly revolve around the amount of female characters and their portrayal, from what I've heard. 

The argument about the portrayal of women in the media in general is interesting, but in this post I'm gonna talk about Disney in particular, and the ideals that they set for girls and women. I feel that the portrayal of women in Disney movies and TV-series is to some extent misunderstood, but then again, the critics are right on some points as well. 

One must remember, that many of the Disney princesses were written many decades ago. The expectations that people had for a woman was different back then. There was a time where it was expected of a woman to be quiet, delicate and the wife of a husband/breadwinner. 

So is it healthy, pulling those roles out of the dusty old closet and pushing them onto girls today? Are Disney princesses bad rolemodels, just because they're not all "feisty" ?

I don't think so, at all. 

Many people seem to worry that Disney will make girls fall victim to the idea that you have to find a guy to marry, to be "right". What I think some of these people forget, is to reflect upon their own childhood and the worries and goals they had back then.

Growing up, did Disney make you frantic to go out and get married? Was the most important thing in your life finding a Prince Charming, or has it been since?
Maybe it's just me, but I watched every single Disney movie, I had the Disney-Barbie dolls. I still wanted to become a hero I wanted to travel the world and become a Pokemon Master, I wanted to become a secret Spy. The last one was a result of Disney's "Kim Possible", actually. See, that's a great story with a kick-ass female lead!

Disney Princesses were some of my greatest idols, though! I was a huge fan of Pocahontas, especially. 

I loved her affinity with nature, her strength, her willingness to stand up to her parents and to traditions to do the right thing. The John Smith-thing was just a side-plot to me. 

The great story with a strong female lead was in the center.

I found Belle in Beauty and the Beast to be very inspirational as well. She was clever, openminded, independent, and her close relationship to her dad is for some reason some of what I remember the clearest. Many people worry that her falling in love with the one that keeps her prisoner will have a bad influence on how girls view relationships. I never even thought of that when I watched the movie! The only thing I cared about was how she was able to see past his beastly looks! To me, "Beauty and the Beast" is about not judging a book by it's cover, and second chances. And Belle is not all beauty. She's brains as well!

Even the women in the older Disney movies have great traits that young girls will undoubtly learn from. The three fairies in Sleeping Beauty are fun and quirky characters. They're creative, they're motherly and they raised her all on their own with no man involved. I'm not gonna talk about miss. Beauty. She doesn't have much of a personality of her own, in my opinion. I'll give the critics that.

The first Disney princess, Snow White, is innocent but not just that. She has a sense of curiosity that makes her go her own way, and a basic trust in humanity. She moves in with a bunch of nice, little strangers that would probably have been looked down upon and shunned back in the middle ages or whenever this story takes place. She keeps that trust, despite having just been betrayed by a person that she trusted, and having been mistreated her whole life. She turns that into something good. She helps the dwarves and becomes a motherly figure to them, and they give her a place to stay and protects her. Even if she is naive, I think the basic message that little girls get out of the movie is a good one.
It didn't make me trust strangers blindly, but it's central message about friendship went right in there.

I could go on and on, and talk about Jasmin's independence, Mulan's sense of justice and Tiana's hardworking personality and goals, but they speak for themselves.
What I'm trying to say is, that Disney is not all about finding and marrying Prince Charming. That's not what little girls get out of watching these movies. What little girls see, are women that can hold their own in a world dominated by men.
They see that by following your sense of justice, being independent, being something besides "just" beautiful, and doing good in the face of adversity, you become a great and admirable woman!
Those are the traits that make up a princess and/or a heroine!
People claim that Disney has started to make female characters that look the same, but I disagree. Merida doesn't look anything like the Frozen girls, for instance.

Disney have their flaws, but I think their ability to make a wide range of different, but equally rolemodel-worthy heroines deserves applause.

I have yet to watch the movie "Frozen", but I know I will, despite the lack of female characters in the movie. From what I've seen, the Queen looks pretty badass.

Body Shaming and Dressing for your Body Type

Trigger Warning!

(This post will contain my personal experiences with unhealthy eating habits and related issues)

I have been through a lot in the weight-department in general, and lately I've been through a small personal crisis that prompted me to write this post. 

I'm a little bit better now, though, as small victories are usually enough to get me to snap out of it.

Since I first got into this fashion there has been a monster hiding under every Lolita's bed. One that frequently sticks out it's ugly head and grins at us from meanspirited secrets, 4Chan and through fights in online communities: Body shaming. The dreaded "Fatty-chan". 

I've heard claims that body shaming is even harsher in the Gyaru community, but that doesn't take away from my observations that I think Lolita is particularly prone to being sensitive to the topic of body weight, probably because you have to be of a certain size to be able to fit into the majority of readily-made Lolita pieces, from blouses to skirts. Even socks! (or else you stretch the print and it looks.. wonky)

As secrets also show, many Lolitas feel a pressure because of this. A pressure to lose weight to be able to fit into the dresses. They feel bad about the way they look, they fear that people will look down upon them for being on the bigger side of the scale.
I know that there are girls who have a tough time because of being underweight too, but from my observations they are generally envied, not shunned because of their weight.

I have felt the pressure of mean, weight-related secrets on my own body, so I know how it feels. 

Of course I am against body shaming of any kind, as I am of the opinon that people should generally mind their own business when it comes to other people's looks, but I find that Lolita is a great motivator when it comes to losing weight!

I myself was overweight and unhappy for many years. Not just unhappy with the way I looked as an overweight person, but also unhappy with how hindered I felt as a side-effect of this. I couldn't run with my classmates in gym classes, I fell behind when biking into town with my friends, and it was hard! Lolitas was part of what finally motivated me to get up from the couch, eat healthy and do something about it! I lost a bunch of weight and was finally happy with myself.
Therefore I give Lolita an A+ as a motivational factor. The thing is- I got overly motivated, I guess you could say. I got so scared of gaining weight again so I wouldn't be able to fit into anything and in general would not look pretty anymore, that I was too scared to eat much more than an apple for breakfast, one slice of dry bread with nothing on top for lunch, and a tiny portion of vegetables for dinner. It was unhealthy, to say the least, and Lolita could do nothing to save me from what I was doing to myself. 

It was only the support from my family that got me out of it again. 

All of this was probably the result of body shaming. My goal became "becoming thin", not "becoming healthy".
Why would I care so much, if not for the gloryfication of thinness and the shaming Lolitas get for being overweight?

Well, what was my point? Oh, yes!

Lolita can look great on anyone. And I do mean anyone. I already knew that before I lost weight- I had no problem being confident about my looks in Lolita before I lost weight. I thought I looked great in Lolita! I just wanted to be able to fit into brand dresses and not just Taobao made-to-fit.

Size doesn't matter, as the key to looking good in Lolita has nothing to do with size at all.

The key is: Dressing for your body type.

Dressing for your body type as in dressing for what YOU think looks good on your body type.

I am not a fan of the “Do I Look Fat In These Jeans" mentality, as it is all about fitting into a certain “mold”, that is the socially accepted idea of “what looks attractive”.

Your idea of the “ideal body type” should be one that makes you feel good.

If you think that a shirt looks good, even if somebody says it makes your nose look fat, wear it!

 It is a lot more important to feel at ease in your own body. If you’re proud of or cool with a part of your body that other people would tell you to hide, don’t worry about it.

Flaunt it, if that makes you feel confident!

If you do, however, like the commonly accepted hourglass-figure ideal, I have a couple of pointers, and this is just my opinions and general observations. Mind you, some of them might not agree with whatever you’ve read in books on this topic.

1.     Puffed sleeves tend to hide wide shoulders.

I know this is actually quite the opposite of the popular dress-up tips, but I am not of a elfish body type myself, and I find that sleeves with puffy shoulders tend to hide this. After all, you can’t really tell how much is puff and how much is body!

2.     Let the “tight” part of the dress stop at the smallest part of your body.

This way, it will accentuate the smallest part of you, be it below your bust, at your waist or wherever else.

3.     Wear tights!

If you have naturally short legs, or your legs tend to stretch printed socks, wear tights. This also helps if your dress is a tad on the short side.

And this last one is completely unrelated and more a result of a discovery of mine...

4.     Wear bonnets.

Always wear bonnets. They look perfect on anybody.

Remember: You could ignore all of the above! 

Wear whatever you love, and what makes you feel good!

Stay safe, treat yourself well, and forget “BtB”secrets.

Your opinion is the one that rules.

Why Lolita Isn’t Feminist but Most Lolitas Probably Are So.

When I was writing the “Sexy Lolita?” post I got inspired to open up a can of worms and discuss feminism and Lolita a bit more, but I decided that this subject was big enough to deserve it’s own post. 

Lolita is from my own experience often described as a bit of a “rebel fashion-choice”, in it’s own refined and elegant way. Quite at the opposite end of the line from the torn look of punk. Most Lolita handbooks think that Lolita even might have started out as the chosen look of Japanese women who wanted to rebel against the strict dress-code and culture that kept women in “their place”, which would not surprise me. We’ve had our fair share of youth rebellions in the West too.

The question is, if Lolitas are still in the midst of a rebellion. If Lolita started out as a feminist rebellion in Japan, which it could definitely be described as, if the idea was to free women from a patriarchic society in the 70’s or 80’s, or whenever Lolita was born.

You can look at this question in two ways:

In my opinion, a fashion in itself cannot be feminist. Clothes cannot stand up to anything. What makes a fashion a way to rebel, is the value that you put into it, of course! And this value may be different for anyone.

It is widely accepted that you are a Lolita as soon as you put on a coordinate that can be described as a Lolita outfit and call yourself a “Lolita”. You do not have to sign your name in blood on a contract or go through any rituals or get a tattoo. In short, you’re not tying yourself up to any promises of loyalty to a set of values. You’re wearing an outfit that you think is pretty and that has personal value to you on some level.

Lolita clothes might at some point have been a tell-tale sign of a young woman who did not want to be tied down. Much the same way punk used to have a deeper meaning than misfit teens wearing pins on their backpacks for school.

Today, at least in western society, Lolita does not have that connotation and might have never had it.

But can Lolita be described as feminist, even if the clothes bear no meaning in themselves? Well, I'd say no. But I do think Lolita has a tendency to attract feminists. Both people who claim the lable, and people who just so happens to be very openminded and "modern" in their worldview.
Some of you people out there who have fallen prey to the mainstream misunderstanding of feminism might be a tad bit confused, but you might just be a feminist yourself without even knowing it.

Even the ones of you who're guys.

Lolita is a little less mainstream than most alternative fashion-styles out there, which means that you'd probably have to be extraordinarily open-minded to things that are different. From what I've observed, just.. you know.. living on a day-to-day basis, open-mindedness tends to go hand in hand with the idea that everybody should be equal. Which is the core idea of feminism- Men and women are equally capable, equally worthy of respect, and they should be treated as equals in all aspects of life. Simple as that.

Most people I've met are not dressing in Lolita to prove a point, but because they love it.

 I've met some people who do dress in it because they're tired of sexism and want to get away from it- Which would make their particular Lolita-life a statement. But Lolita in itself is not a feminist movement, and I kind of like it that way, even though I myself support feminism fully. 

Lolita is a free space for self expression, with room for you to put in whatever values you please. 

Though I'm kind of proud of the kind of people it attracts, at least where I live.

There is nothing better than celebrating whatever has value to you when you're in Lolita, being around openminded and non-judging souls who love the same thing you do, but for their own reasons.

My Favorite Lolita Documentaries and other videos

Even though I've been a Lolita for a couple of years now and am pretty sure I know what those strange rufflebutts are all about, I still enjoy relaxing to a lolita documentary now and then. It's interesting to observe how different Lolitas from different parts of the world, or even within the same country, describe lolita fashion to outsiders- What they find to be important and defining characteristics of Lolita as a community, and the fashion in itself.

Here are a couple of the documentaries I relax to, in no particular order. I list the countries, though, just to bring some perspective!

Happy watching!

Lace and Petticoats

(Australian)

Lolita in Translation

(American)

A French "documentary" brought as part of the show "Hors Serie" (multiple parts)

(French)

Sugar Coated

(American)

Lifestyle of Goth-Loli Girls

(Japanese)

And last but not least, the first Lolita documentary I watched:

LoliGirls: The Story Behind the Frills and Bows

(American)

I find "LoliGirls" to be a bit different, as it puts a lot of emphasis on the spiritual part of being a lolita- not something that every lolita can identify with. To me, it brings back a bunch of nostalgia and I still watch it for fun, time and time again.

I hope you were as entertained as I continue to be by these documentaries!

Here are a couple of links to other interesting Lolita related videos and channels that I recommend:

Australias Next Top Model meets Japanese Street Fashion

The link speaks for itself. Major culture clash!

Princess Peachie's Youtube channel
She makes a bunch of cute and informative videos. Great for beginners! This decription actually also fits Shelby Cloud's Youtube Channel

Deerstalker Pictures

True video-wizards, through and through! Also makes trailers for Haenuli!

Lovely Lor's Youtube Channel
Very entertaining with a lively personality!

Fille de Porcelaine's Youtube Channel

The perspective of multiple styles on one channel!

And for the more gothically influenced (and maybe even if you're not) I recommend:

Gothic Charm School's Youtube Channel
The Lady of the Manners also has a website (and she has written a book of the same name) where she gives out advice to goths of all shapes, sizes and ages, but I find myself slowly nodding in agreement and recognition when reading her posts on life as an excentrically dressed individual. Give it a try!

Do you have a link or two to some videos that you enjoy but I might not have seen yet? Let me know in the comments!

Lacebook: Lolita Social Network

Original picture from Lacebook

Since last, a new social networking site for active lolitas has sprung up: Lacebook- Lolita fashion snaps.

Lacebook is a platform for lolitas to share coordinates and thoughts, in the form of photos added to a public or private photogallery, and blogposts posted to a personal blog on your profile or posts in a small forum. It is only possible to join Lacebook if you have received an invitation from a person who is already a member of Lacebook- and this person must also have received an invitation from a member, and so on. The invitation is given by asking a moderator for a code for a specific lolita (including name and future username of the lovely lady/bro) and then passing this code on to the aspiring Lacebook user.
The invite system, though kind of slow and probably only getting more and more heavily stressful for the moderators and administrators as the site grows, probably keeps out spammers and creepy lurkers, and as such I think the system is a good idea- Though I hope they will find a way of setting up the system as an automatic feature. Experience tells me that sites that needs a large amount of manual activity from the administrators to run smoothly, tend to die out as they become uninspired to do tedious tasks, like handing out codes to people.

Apart from the above, the site of course has a bunch of small hiccups like any new website would have- Only moderators are able to customize their profile with a cover photo, for example. Apart from this, the site is very well run, and I think overall it is a great idea to have a Facebook-like site where you can make status updates and easily browse through gallery upon gallery of creative coordinates and make comments to each photo.

What I am not OK with, though, and this is my only major critique point- Is that you are able to "rate" peoples' pictures(At least the ones the user does not choose to make private, because that is also an option.) With a click of your mouse you can rate an outfit on the scale of 1 to 5, without having to take the time to leave a comment. This feature might be very handy in the sense that you can give a person a quick compliment without having to sit down and type out why a coordinate is great. Sometimes giving a reason for why a coordinate is great can be hard- it just looks great, yo! But in this case, it is not just a "like" feature, like the one Facebook has. The rate feature also pretty much gives you a "dislike" feature- 

1 star, well: You suck!

Do you see my point? I like the quick and easy browsing ability that Lacebook gives you- It is quicker and easier than the former primary outfit-platform that we had, Daily Lolita, and the invite system protects us from trolls, creepers and spammers, but on Daily Lolita you had to type out a message to the lolita whose outfits you were judging, which meant that constructive criticism was shared. The rating system makes it too easy to be the judge of a person's outfit without giving them a reason for the critique, and ways in which they could improve. You should always take anonymous opinions dealt out on the internet with a grain of salt, but I see how some people with softer souls could be hurt by happily sharing a coordinate that they themself liked, just to receive a number of 1 star ratings- The equality to being "boo'd" off stage.

In conclusion: Lacebook is great and very innovative.

 It is quick, easy and effective, the way the internet-users of today like it! It has the potential to become a very popular social platform for lolitas all over the world, to share ideas, outfits and thoughts, especially if the forum finally takes off. All it needs is the option of better customization of your profile, and maybe an online "Meet-up Planner" and the option of making your own groups- Unless I have overlooked that option somehow. Please correct me if that is the case. 

Oh, and please; Remove that rate function. It really doesn't do the friendliness of the site any good. 

Thank you.