Trigger Warning!
(This post will contain my personal experiences with unhealthy eating habits and related issues)
I have been through a lot in the weight-department in general, and lately I've been through a small personal crisis that prompted me to write this post.
I'm a little bit better now, though, as small victories are usually enough to get me to snap out of it.
Since I first got into this fashion there has been a monster hiding under every Lolita's bed. One that frequently sticks out it's ugly head and grins at us from meanspirited secrets, 4Chan and through fights in online communities: Body shaming. The dreaded "Fatty-chan".
I've heard claims that body shaming is even harsher in the Gyaru community, but that doesn't take away from my observations that I think Lolita is particularly prone to being sensitive to the topic of body weight, probably because you have to be of a certain size to be able to fit into the majority of readily-made Lolita pieces, from blouses to skirts. Even socks! (or else you stretch the print and it looks.. wonky)
As secrets also show, many Lolitas feel a pressure because of this. A pressure to lose weight to be able to fit into the dresses. They feel bad about the way they look, they fear that people will look down upon them for being on the bigger side of the scale.
I know that there are girls who have a tough time because of being underweight too, but from my observations they are generally envied, not shunned because of their weight.
I have felt the pressure of mean, weight-related secrets on my own body, so I know how it feels.
Of course I am against body shaming of any kind, as I am of the opinon that people should generally mind their own business when it comes to other people's looks, but I find that Lolita is a great motivator when it comes to losing weight!
I myself was overweight and unhappy for many years. Not just unhappy with the way I looked as an overweight person, but also unhappy with how hindered I felt as a side-effect of this. I couldn't run with my classmates in gym classes, I fell behind when biking into town with my friends, and it was hard! Lolitas was part of what finally motivated me to get up from the couch, eat healthy and do something about it! I lost a bunch of weight and was finally happy with myself.
Therefore I give Lolita an A+ as a motivational factor. The thing is- I got overly motivated, I guess you could say. I got so scared of gaining weight again so I wouldn't be able to fit into anything and in general would not look pretty anymore, that I was too scared to eat much more than an apple for breakfast, one slice of dry bread with nothing on top for lunch, and a tiny portion of vegetables for dinner. It was unhealthy, to say the least, and Lolita could do nothing to save me from what I was doing to myself.
It was only the support from my family that got me out of it again.
All of this was probably the result of body shaming. My goal became "becoming thin", not "becoming healthy".
Why would I care so much, if not for the gloryfication of thinness and the shaming Lolitas get for being overweight?
Well, what was my point? Oh, yes!
Lolita
can look great on anyone. And I do mean anyone. I already knew that before I
lost weight- I had no problem being confident about my looks in Lolita before I
lost weight. I thought I looked great in Lolita! I just wanted to be able to
fit into brand dresses and not just Taobao made-to-fit.
Size
doesn't matter, as the key to looking good in Lolita has nothing to do with
size at all.
The key
is: Dressing for your body type.
Dressing
for your body type as in dressing for what YOU think looks good on your body
type.
I am
not a fan of the “Do I Look Fat In These Jeans" mentality, as it is all about fitting
into a certain “mold”, that is the socially accepted idea of “what looks
attractive”.
Your
idea of the “ideal body type” should be one that makes you feel good.
If you
think that a shirt looks good, even if somebody says it makes your nose look fat,
wear it!
It is a lot more important to feel at ease in your own body. If you’re
proud of or cool with a part of your body that other people would tell you to
hide, don’t worry about it.
Flaunt
it, if that makes you feel confident!
If you
do, however, like the commonly accepted hourglass-figure ideal, I have a couple of pointers, and this is just my
opinions and general observations. Mind you, some of them might not agree with
whatever you’ve read in books on this topic.
1.
Puffed sleeves tend to hide wide
shoulders.
I know this is
actually quite the opposite of the popular dress-up tips, but I am not of a
elfish body type myself, and I find that sleeves with puffy shoulders tend to
hide this. After all, you can’t really tell how much is puff and how much is
body!
2.
Let the “tight” part of the dress stop at
the smallest part of your body.
This way, it will
accentuate the smallest part of you, be it below your bust, at your waist or
wherever else.
3.
Wear tights!
If you have
naturally short legs, or your legs tend to stretch printed socks, wear tights.
This also helps if your dress is a tad on the short side.
And this last one is completely unrelated and more a result of a discovery of mine...
4.
Wear bonnets.
Always wear bonnets. They look perfect on anybody.
Remember: You could ignore all of the above!
Wear whatever you
love, and what makes you feel good!
Stay safe, treat
yourself well, and forget “BtB”secrets.
Your opinion is
the one that rules.
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