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| Original Picture from Wearemoviegeeks.com |
Why are your parents being so unreasonable?
In my opinion, Lolita has many wonderful values and qualities that should make it very attractive to parents, but some parents are just not that fond of "Weird Things". They don't want their kid to be "The Weird Kid" whom nobody wants to be friends with, and who knows what kind of unsafe stuff these Lolita-people do when they're together? Well, we know, but your parents don't. They might think that Lolita is just some kind of phase that you won't even remember in a two weeks time, so why should they spend a lot of money and time figuring out how to order a dress from Japan for you? As you can see from the above, your parents probably just want what's best for you, and their beloved wallet.
And now, let's skip to what you probably wanna know: What you can do to make your parents "get it".
Lolita is not just something strange and foreign. It is actually also relevant to our western cultures, considering that it takes it's inspiration from the Rococo period and Victorian eras. Lolitas were actually inspired by our history before we even discovered our lovely street fashion! You could show your confused parents some pictures to demonstrate this point. Ín line with especially victorian fashion comes the modesty aspect of Lolita fashion, which could also be something that some parents would appreciate (My own mom doesn't get this part.)
You know, some dads just don't wanna see their little girl grow up and start wearing mini-skirts!
An aspect that I think parents would appreciate even more, is the community! Which parent doesn't want to see their child go out and have some good, safe fun with likeminded souls, and make new friends? If possible, you could borrow some clothes from a friend and attend a couple of meet-ups, and then let your parents know how much fun you had! Maybe they'll warm up to the idea of you becoming a fully equipped member of your local Lolita community.
Some Lolitas would disagree with me on this, but I think it's pretty much always a good idea to be honest with your parents. Don't go behind their back and buy Lolita dresses if they tell you not to! If they find out, it's not very likely that you're gonna accomplish some kind of chick-flick ending where they will magically understand your love for Lolita. It is more likely that they will see it as something that makes you rebellious and break their trust, which will only mean further limits to what your parents will allow you to participate in. What you could do to sneak some Lolita into your wardrobe, is start showing interest in nice blouses, accessories and the like, from mainstream stores! It is more likely that they will let you have frills that you can buy in your everyday clothing store. Also, you could show an interest in learning how to sew. I think very few parents would be opposed to their child learning crafts or getting a new hobby, and they would probably not be as likely to criticise or deny you wearing Lolita clothes that you have made yourself.
If you don't wanna learn how to sew, try and show them how commited you are to the fashion by doing work and chores around the house to earn your Lolita clothes! You could do some weeding and mow the lawn in exchange for a Bodyline skirt, and so on. You could also save up credit in exhange for good grades!
If you already have a job and are making your own money, and just need your parents' permission, show that you can be very economically responsible. Work hard and save up for your Lolita clothes! This will also show your parents that you are not just blowing your money off on a short-lived fancy, but that you're actually passionate about this and willing to wait! Also, you could spend your money so much worse. Look at how other people are burning their money away these days!
If, after all of the above, your parents are still being stubborn, there is not much you can do but wait. Wait, and throw them a couple of discreet remarks once in a while about pretty new brand releases, this dress you saw on Daily_Lolita, how pretty your friend looked in her Metamorphose dress the other day, etc. Who knows? Maybe some day, they will come around! And even if they don't, you don't have to care about your parents' opinions forever. When you move out, and that day will probably come sooner or later, you can shamelessly indulge in Lolita fashion to your heart's content, and it will be totally worth it!
And now, let's skip to what you probably wanna know: What you can do to make your parents "get it".
Lolita is not just something strange and foreign. It is actually also relevant to our western cultures, considering that it takes it's inspiration from the Rococo period and Victorian eras. Lolitas were actually inspired by our history before we even discovered our lovely street fashion! You could show your confused parents some pictures to demonstrate this point. Ín line with especially victorian fashion comes the modesty aspect of Lolita fashion, which could also be something that some parents would appreciate (My own mom doesn't get this part.)
You know, some dads just don't wanna see their little girl grow up and start wearing mini-skirts!
An aspect that I think parents would appreciate even more, is the community! Which parent doesn't want to see their child go out and have some good, safe fun with likeminded souls, and make new friends? If possible, you could borrow some clothes from a friend and attend a couple of meet-ups, and then let your parents know how much fun you had! Maybe they'll warm up to the idea of you becoming a fully equipped member of your local Lolita community.
Some Lolitas would disagree with me on this, but I think it's pretty much always a good idea to be honest with your parents. Don't go behind their back and buy Lolita dresses if they tell you not to! If they find out, it's not very likely that you're gonna accomplish some kind of chick-flick ending where they will magically understand your love for Lolita. It is more likely that they will see it as something that makes you rebellious and break their trust, which will only mean further limits to what your parents will allow you to participate in. What you could do to sneak some Lolita into your wardrobe, is start showing interest in nice blouses, accessories and the like, from mainstream stores! It is more likely that they will let you have frills that you can buy in your everyday clothing store. Also, you could show an interest in learning how to sew. I think very few parents would be opposed to their child learning crafts or getting a new hobby, and they would probably not be as likely to criticise or deny you wearing Lolita clothes that you have made yourself.
If you don't wanna learn how to sew, try and show them how commited you are to the fashion by doing work and chores around the house to earn your Lolita clothes! You could do some weeding and mow the lawn in exchange for a Bodyline skirt, and so on. You could also save up credit in exhange for good grades!
If you already have a job and are making your own money, and just need your parents' permission, show that you can be very economically responsible. Work hard and save up for your Lolita clothes! This will also show your parents that you are not just blowing your money off on a short-lived fancy, but that you're actually passionate about this and willing to wait! Also, you could spend your money so much worse. Look at how other people are burning their money away these days!
If, after all of the above, your parents are still being stubborn, there is not much you can do but wait. Wait, and throw them a couple of discreet remarks once in a while about pretty new brand releases, this dress you saw on Daily_Lolita, how pretty your friend looked in her Metamorphose dress the other day, etc. Who knows? Maybe some day, they will come around! And even if they don't, you don't have to care about your parents' opinions forever. When you move out, and that day will probably come sooner or later, you can shamelessly indulge in Lolita fashion to your heart's content, and it will be totally worth it!
Last Note: I have a feeling that being a boy who wants to be a Lolita(or if you prefer, Brolita) often comes with more parent-problems than those I've talked about above. Sadly, I do not feel qualified to talk about these problems, as I have no personal experience in that area. Sorry! I hope you still find this post a little bit useful.
Another really good post, full of good advice.
SvarSletI second the importance of not lying to your parents. Try to sit down and find out their real reasons for disliking the style. Be sure to have a list of reasons you really like it as well- besides repeating how pretty it is over and over again.
Another idea may be to get in touch with your grandparents- depending on how close you are to them. When my grandmother saw me wearing one of my lolita dresses, we were able to have a fun conversation about petticoats and how to keep them full looking since she had to wear them as a girl too.
Keep up the good work!