Wearing Lolita to Special Occasions

Once in a while I see questions about how appropriate Lolita is for various occasions, popping up. This weekend I'll be attending a grand family party. My brother is turning 18 and by danish standards, that makes him a grown-up. As such, you could say that this birthday will be the second most important birthday in his life, next to his first one! 

As much as I love lolita, and as much as I'd love to be dressed up in the coord that I feel most beautiful and comfortable in for this special occasion, I've decided not to. And here is why.

In my opinion, Lolita is just not appropriate for occasions where the spotlight belongs to other people. Lolita is an attention grabbing fashion, and no matter if you or anybody else wants it to or not, it will no doubt take away attention from the bride, the birthday child, the old couple celebrating their 50 years anniversary, the baby etc. 

What do you think people will be remembering afterwards? You will, believe me, be a topic of discussion for most of the guests in the car on the way home. When they should be discussing how much fun they had, and how amazing it is that the couple lasted that long, how beautiful the bride looked, etc.

You might say "What's the big deal?" and I get that. You and I are used to Lolita, we wear it often, and people should in general care less about what other people are wearing on their body. A wedding or a birthday party is just not the place to force people to practice that skill. You take away from the magic of the occasion, and you're stealing someone elses thunder. 

If you're not a classic lolita with a very, very discrete wardrobe, with plenty of tights and petticoats with pretty much no poof, you should just not wear lolita to occasions that revolve around celebrating someone else. Especially not if you know your family, or the center of attention, dislikes the fashion. In my case, I know my mom will (as discreetly as possible) start drama about my fashion choices. This will annoy me, and apparently, it's bothering her. It's just not worth it on a special day when we're supposed to be having fun, and it ruins the atmosphere for everybody else.

So when IS lolita appropriate? Is it ever?

Absolutely! 

On your special occasions, I say go nuts, no matter what anybody else thinks! Your birthdays, your wedding, your anniversary, you decide! If you've been nice enough to not wear it on other peoples' special days, they shouldn't be allowed to complain at all when you're the one calling the shots. If they do, they're just rude.
Also, you should be allowed to wear it to any "neutral" party. That means regular parties, family gatherings with no special center of attention, and the like. 

Oh, and there is one free-pass that you can get to the advice above, of course! If the center of attention tells you that you should wear Lolita to that special occasion of theirs! Then, do what they tells you! You've got an awesome individual right there, and they deserve seeing you dressed to the nines if they love your fashion choices!

It all really just comes down to being considerate of other peoples' feelings, I guess. That, and not being so "considerate" that you're holding back for no reason and let other people rule you on "your own" days.

Obviously it's your decision in the end and you decide what to do. You know your family and your social circle better than I do. But I really think you should think twice before putting on that huge twin-tail wig and Sugary Carnival JSK to your aunt's wedding- You might ruin her day a little bit, and is that worth "standing up for your right to wear whatever you want" for?