I shouldn't have to warn you about this, but well:
Slightly feminist post ahead! You have been warned!
Last week a topic was brought up on EGL that had a bunch of people screaming "troll!", gasping in horror or hiding under their beds. Sexyness and all related topics are what can best be described as taboo in Lolita.
The question was, whether you do or do not feel sexy in your Lolita clothes. Many people responded with something along the lines of "No, I do not see Lolita as sexual" or "No, I do not think Lolita clothes are sexy in any way". That was also pretty much my response- But then a user wrote something that I found interesting, and that made me think.
She/He commented on how many positive feelings that women have, are turned "sexual" in some way. "Confidence is sexy", "Being comfortable is sexy", "A happy woman is a sexy woman" etc.
I am sure you have seen or heard something a kin to this at some point recently.
How often do you hear something similar said about a man?
How often are men asked if a particular shirt, suit, pair of pants or any other clothing item makes them feel sexy?
This topic brings up a couple of very interesting issues, at least in my opinion.
Why are the way women feel being sexualized, even when that feeling has nothing to do with a boyfriend/girlfriend or sexual themes?
And why do people within our own community have an interest in whether or not other Lolitas feel sexually attractive in their Lolita clothes?
Interesting thoughts, that I think mostly have roots in a culture that is very dominant in most cultures I have knowledge of. The very simple principle that women are, well, sexualized, and that principle is in-grained in men as well as women.
Women accept that it is the norm in our culture for women to strive to look and feel sexual at all times.
"Smile! You look so much prettier that way!", not because we want you to be happy.
Why are you not looking pretty for us? Correct that right away!
From what I've heard and experienced in Lolita culture, a lot of girls are attracted to Lolita fashion to get away from the pressure to look and feel sexualized. It is a relaxing- getting away from the pressure and society's expectations. This causes a knee-jerk reaction when the outside culture knocks on the door and somebody brings up the "horrible, dreaded and dirty" topic of sexuality in this safehaven of non-sexualness.
Even if all of the above sounds like I'm banishing everything that has to do with sex from "My Lolita", that is not the case. I think the sexual part of human existence has it's place in Lolita as well. And not just in Ero-Lolita.
Hear me out!
To me, Lolita is partially about being free from society's expectations on how a woman should look, act and feel. This means being free from restrictions in general.
Lolita is about the ultimate freedom to look and feel like yourself- It would take away from this freedom to beat yourself up over feeling sexy in Lolita.
If you feel empowered and sexy in Lolita, so be it! You're living your dream, aren't you?
Why should my feeling of being strong, whimsical and beautiful in Lolita be any "better" or more "right" than feeling sexy and confident? Lolita is about something different for everyone.
Lolita might not be "sexy" in the conventional sense, but that doesn't mean that you can't feel sexy!
Lolita is the freedom to look and feel the way that is right and true for you, after all.
Slightly feminist post ahead! You have been warned!
Last week a topic was brought up on EGL that had a bunch of people screaming "troll!", gasping in horror or hiding under their beds. Sexyness and all related topics are what can best be described as taboo in Lolita.
The question was, whether you do or do not feel sexy in your Lolita clothes. Many people responded with something along the lines of "No, I do not see Lolita as sexual" or "No, I do not think Lolita clothes are sexy in any way". That was also pretty much my response- But then a user wrote something that I found interesting, and that made me think.
She/He commented on how many positive feelings that women have, are turned "sexual" in some way. "Confidence is sexy", "Being comfortable is sexy", "A happy woman is a sexy woman" etc.
I am sure you have seen or heard something a kin to this at some point recently.
How often do you hear something similar said about a man?
How often are men asked if a particular shirt, suit, pair of pants or any other clothing item makes them feel sexy?
This topic brings up a couple of very interesting issues, at least in my opinion.
Why are the way women feel being sexualized, even when that feeling has nothing to do with a boyfriend/girlfriend or sexual themes?
And why do people within our own community have an interest in whether or not other Lolitas feel sexually attractive in their Lolita clothes?
Interesting thoughts, that I think mostly have roots in a culture that is very dominant in most cultures I have knowledge of. The very simple principle that women are, well, sexualized, and that principle is in-grained in men as well as women.
Women accept that it is the norm in our culture for women to strive to look and feel sexual at all times.
"Smile! You look so much prettier that way!", not because we want you to be happy.
Why are you not looking pretty for us? Correct that right away!
From what I've heard and experienced in Lolita culture, a lot of girls are attracted to Lolita fashion to get away from the pressure to look and feel sexualized. It is a relaxing- getting away from the pressure and society's expectations. This causes a knee-jerk reaction when the outside culture knocks on the door and somebody brings up the "horrible, dreaded and dirty" topic of sexuality in this safehaven of non-sexualness.
Even if all of the above sounds like I'm banishing everything that has to do with sex from "My Lolita", that is not the case. I think the sexual part of human existence has it's place in Lolita as well. And not just in Ero-Lolita.
Hear me out!
To me, Lolita is partially about being free from society's expectations on how a woman should look, act and feel. This means being free from restrictions in general.
Lolita is about the ultimate freedom to look and feel like yourself- It would take away from this freedom to beat yourself up over feeling sexy in Lolita.
If you feel empowered and sexy in Lolita, so be it! You're living your dream, aren't you?
Why should my feeling of being strong, whimsical and beautiful in Lolita be any "better" or more "right" than feeling sexy and confident? Lolita is about something different for everyone.
Lolita might not be "sexy" in the conventional sense, but that doesn't mean that you can't feel sexy!
Lolita is the freedom to look and feel the way that is right and true for you, after all.
Ingen kommentarer :
Send en kommentar