What to keep in mind when joining a Lolita community

Spring and summer is upon us, and as usual, this is the season where online Lolita communities are seeing a huge influx of new Lolitas who want to join in on the fun. Many new Lolitas use these communities to seek assistance from the more experienced members. Sometimes this works out just fine, but more often than not, the "Noob Season" is a season of a little bit of.. frustration for the community. The experienced members sneer at the newbies, and the newbies go off in a huff because of the "elitists".

All of this could easily be avoided. This is not a matter of elitism or stupidity. I think it's more a matter of thoughtlessness, and forgetting that there are actual humanbeings on the other side of the screen, as is way too often the case on the internet. 

So, you may be a new Lolita who want to join EGL, "Daily Lolita Coordinates" or a local community? I suppose you want them all to welcome you and to make friends, or at the very least have a pleasant experience. That means there are a couple of common mistakes you want to avoid.
Here is what you'll have to keep in mind.
But first and foremost, keep in mind that this is meant to help you, not criticize you.

1. The Community is not Google

So you've joined the community and you want to ask for some advice. You assure everyone that you've already done a ton of research, and you think you have. You've read everything about your chosen substyle, how you need a petticoat and a blouse. But where do you get a blouse? Well,
Google it. A simple google search for "white Lolita blouse" brought up "My-Lolita-Dress", a trusted reseller, as the third result. I know how it is to want to make sure that you do everything right from the beginning, but some things you can easily figure out for yourself. It seems lazy and rude if you expect other people to google it for you.

2. Treat the Community like a Friendly Stranger on the Street
(Or lurk for a bit!)
When joining a new community, if you are too excited to just lurk for a while without posting to figure out the "local way of conversation", for gods sake, be polite! Do not write your post as if you were writing a message to your best friend on Messenger! Write exactly as if you were asking a stranger for directions. This means using "please" and "thank you!", because just like that stranger, these people are taking time out of their day to read and respond to your post. And just like you wouldn't use random japanese phrases or terms of endearment when asking for directions, don't use them here. 

3. What type of community are you joining? Read the rules and description!
Lolita has a ton of different, connected online communities, with very specific purposes. We've got "Daily Lolita Coordinate" communities, where you can show off your coordinates, we've got sales communities for selling different clothing by specific brands, for specific locations and so on. Pay attention to what community you're joining, and what is meant to be posted there! This will keep you from making an irrelevant post that people will respond negatively to. Scroll down the page a bit too, just to get a glimpse of what people tend to post in there.
Also, a local community is very different from a global one, in terms of what will be tolerated. Introduction posts are usually fine on a local Facebook group, but tends to seem selfcentered on EGL, a community with thousands of members who don't know, or want to know, each other personally.

Here's a small list of communities that you can use, and what they specialize in!

EGL
The largest Lolita community. Primarily a place of discussion of new brand releases, aspects of Lolita culture and life, and Lolita related events. Questions can be asked, but keep in mind that your question has probably been asked a billion times before. Check the memories and tags, and google it first!
If you'd much rather join a local community, check out if one exists on Facebook, or check this list for one near you.

The Lolita Community Sales
This community is for buying, selling and trading only!
Buying and selling can also be done in brand-specialized or local communities on Facebook, or in the big Lolita Sales in English group.

Daily Lolita Coordinates/Closet of Frills
Two communites meant for showing off your coordinates, and asking for constructive criticism on your outfits.

Lolita Fashion Mentoring
If you really need to ask a bunch of questions and or is in need of some guidance, then I recommend joining the above community. I still recommend you google your questions first, but the Lolita mentors will gladly help if you're unable to find the answer this way, or need some advice on how to coordinate or are in another Lolita-related pinch. 


That was my tips for joining a Lolita community. Again, this is not criticizm of new Lolitas. I love when people join the Lolita community! I know the joy and excitement that Lolita can give, especially when you first join in and everything is still fresh and new to you! But I've also witnessed these common mistakes being made time and time again each year. 
If you just try and avoid them, however, there's no problem at all, and the community will be more than happy to help out! Even without tearing out any well-styled hairs!

So, there's only one thing left to be said:
Welcome to our community!