torsdag den 22. maj 2014

LBC: "Mistakes" You've Made in Lolita and What You've Learned

For this week's installment in the Lolita Blog Carnival we're gonna get personal and a little bit embarrassed about our wee beginnings in the fashion, I think. For the most part.

I think most of us had an embarrassing moment or two when we started out in the fashion. Something we look back on with curled toes, and we just "Can't Believe we would do that!" and "Can't believe I thought that looked good!"
Well, because we hadn't really grasped the fashion yet. We still had yet to train our 'Coord Muscles'.
Personally, I'm really, really happy nobody remembers my first steps into the fashion. The first mistake I made was trying to build a few coords out of what I had in my closet, before I purchased actual Lolita clothing. When I finally got a skirt, I went into real experimentation, and I was a mess of styles. I've tried to find a picture or two, but they're long gone. 
And thank goodness for that..

However, what I think my biggest mistakes have been, were not in dressing myself.
I'm a firm believer in Lolita fashion as a learning process, for people who want to learn. You make mistakes, you learn from them, you evolve. There's no shame in that, as such, no matter how stupid you may've looked in your old outfit pictures.

I think the biggest mistake I've made was trying to convince my family to like and respect my clothing choices. I have a feeling that this is the thing that's biting my tailbone now.

When I first got into Lolita I was still very young, and so I insisted on respect and being taken seriously, and I protested every time I was told by my parents that they wouldn't be seen with me in Lolita fashion, and that when they rolled their eyes at me and said "Do you have to wear that around the house!?" I would get into a discussion with them about how much Lolita means to me, how it is part of who I am and how it is none of their business what I put on my body.
While I've since gotten older, they've slowly grown stricter, more openmouthed with their criticism, and a lot more harsh. I have a feeling that might have root in the way I handled the situation, or at least, I could have prevented it. I honestly do not take in what they say. It just gets tiring, getting insulted every time I meet them and am feeling my best, or put up a new photo from a meet-up on Facebook.

I still agree with what my younger self said, back in the day. If I could do it over, I just wouldn't have made such a big deal about it.

Here's a new piece of advice for young Lolitas who experiences trouble with their parents the way I did. Of course you know your parents best, so if you think taking the fight multiple times about whether or not you should wear the fashion that you love, will work, go ahead.
I think that what I should have done, would be to take the discussion once, calmly, and then when they refused to listen, just stop discussing it. Refuse to talk about it. Just wear the fashion, and then when they criticize, stomp the critique into the ground with a "Whatever." or "That's your opinion", and then let it go. Refuse to fight about it.

I think that might have gotten them to just give up at some point. Because I've responded to their criticism to often, it has given them the idea that I care what they think.
I don't, and that's what I'm trying to show them now.
I just pray that they're gonna get it soon!

What's the biggest mistake you've made in Lolita? Was it about fashion, or was it about the way you've communicated the fashion to the world?

To learn more about what not to do in Lolita fashion and how to handle it, click a link or 10 below!

A Heart's Sound
Sleeping Sweets

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