tirsdag den 2. september 2014

Hunting with Cash, for Beauty and Dreams

Finding a title for this post was very difficult. Almost as difficult as adequately describing that hardcore mission that is "Lolita Shopping" on the internet. I can only speak for the internet, as I've yet to actually try going for a shopping spree in a real Lolita shop, and I imagine that the experiences are of course entirely different. In real life, you have the posibility of falling in love with a piece because of how it looks at you when you're trying it on. On the internet, you have to use your imagination.
This post will be about a Lolita-related epiphany I had as late as yesterday.

Recently I received a rather neat paycheck, which I decided was big enough for me to spoil myself by purchasing a Lolita dress. The secondhand market is huge, and I knew that I would be able to hunt down at least one of the dresses I've been pilling up on my wishlist, or as I like to call it, "the prediction of my future wardrobe". And true enough, stalking Mbok, Yahoo JP, the egl-comm-sales and Facebook groups brought me across multiple dresses from my wishlist, from Day Dream Carnival, to the Cameo Print JSK, the Secret Between Alice and the Clocktower.. Even Cinderella Jewelry, which I've been wanting in that specific colorway for half a decade!

However, I was surprised to find myself in doubt. None of the dresses that I've been pining for in years and years really made me want to press "Buy". I knew I should want them (a silly thought, because who're really telling me I have to?) but I didn't feel any real excitement or glee at the prospect of owning and wearing these pieces. I scrutinized the exquisite details, the lush fabrics, the flattering designs, and even if I really, truly appreciated it all, I felt nothing. And I was so confused. 
I have a tendency towards being a bit of a Scrooge, but it's not like I didn't have the money, or was falling out of love with Lolita all together. I just wasn't passionately in love.

I browsed the internet a little more, and went back and forth between the auctions and sales posts I had bookmarked with each of the dresses I had found that were also on my wishlist, or knew dresses I found that I kind of liked. However, none of them spoke to me, even if I stared at them for long, long period of time.

And suddenly, late at night, as I was digging my way through Mbok after a long day of work and studies, I felt a sudden pang in my chest, and I was in love. I was in love with a dress that I'd never thought I was ever gonna like.

I had seen the dress with the silly name "Fall in Love with the Sweet Magic of Scent" for sale before, multiple times. I'd looked it over time and time again on Closet Child's website, and every time I'd shrugged and closed the tab again. But I was completely and utterly lost, all of a sudden. This was it. The ivory colorway just displayed the details of the print so perfectly well. It complimented the delicate pastels of the print. The lace and gold details were a sprinkle of magic and richness to an otherwise simple garment.
I could see myself wearing this thing, twirling around my bedroom, shimmering and glittering like a princess! 

And suddenly it struck me, that this was what Lolita is all about. This is what one is supposed to feel when choosing a dream dress, in my opinion. An appreciation of beauty that makes you smile, makes your heart beat a little quicker, and before everything else, a piece that you can see yourself wearing and feeling beautiful in.

 The dress in itself is nothing special, in that it's not particularly rare or expensive.
It's a bit like when I purchased my "Alice's Doll House" piece. For some reasons, I see these dresses for sale all the time, except I'd only ever seen "Magic of Scent" in the blue and pink colorways. The other dresses on my wishlist are beautiful, lush and perfect in design and detail, and that's why I keep them there. I know I'd enjoy them, but they're not my dream pieces. My dream dresses seem pop up all of a sudden when surfing the internet. 
They grab a hold of me when I least expect it, and won't let me go. 
They fill me with that same passion that I felt when I found the first dream dress that secured my long lasting love for Lolita life.

What's my point?
Happiness in Lolita is not necessarily about saving up and hunting down a rare and expensive Lolita piece. That feeling is not something that you can bring about by sheer force of will. 
To some Lolitas it can, and will, come jumping out of nowhere in even the smallest of packages. 

1 kommentar :

  1. I have the same experience, most of the dresses in my wardrobe are not dresses I searched for ages, but dresses I saw for sale and directly fell in love with! And I never regretted buying any of those dresses!


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